First 'issue'

Issue 1
February 19, 1999
Mechanical Cousins Pvt. Ltd.
(Deepak, Sachin, Rahul)

- Page 1 -

Introduction to Mech‘O’Times
‘Full time time-pass’ is just how we can define Mech‘O’Times..

What you want is what you get in here.

..(referring specifically to Garam Masala section)
Our slogan – Mech‘O’Times is ‘For the low IQ people by the low IQ people’. It contains latest news, PJs, special columns such as personality of the fortnight and what not.
You are invited to take active participation in Mech‘O’Times. Send in your articles ranging from political to sport and scientific to social, jokes (Non veg only) and fishponds, tragedies and love stories, comments on personalities or erotica(like the one rohan wrote in ATD assignment)..
We hope that everybody takes remarks ekdum coolly...
So Guys, let’s come together and mech Mech‘O’Times better!

Zor Ka Jhatka… KT se lage!!

VASHI: The second sem KT results sent shocking waves throughout the class trembling mighty figures like Nikhil Joshi. Rahul Bogol, Ravikant and Pankaj were some of the brave soldiers who died fighting hard.
Our correspondent reports that Bogol was on his way to commit suicide by drinking Coca Cola with Anacin (!) but Manoj called him on this auspicious moment and informed him that the cable operator was planning to play Xrated movies on Ld that night. Obviously Bogol changed his mind.
Sanket shadowed Bogol’s record of first sem by clearing 5 KTs at a stretch. Sanket’s spirit is souring high and he is looking forward to the Third sem (KT!) results.
Jokes apart, it’s very easy to take the KT aspect jokingly - for those who have cleared them – but those who still have them know the pains.
We hope that at least the next Matka Round brings in better fate for everybody and the batch remains intact.

Sem 2 results which separated half of our good friends from us have caused major loss and we won’t like this to happen again.
So,we appeal to everyone to work as a team and not individually for better results.
Aagey badho, hum tumhare saath hai!

Weather Report:

The weather in Agnels was pretty cool because of annual fest, cricket and a few holidays. Atmosphere was full of happiness till Baba Agnel jayanti.
Weather suddenly changed due to Kt results and intense submissions in the last week.
Forecast: Temperature may rise above critical temperature during 22nd to 24th as submissions are predicted.

Market Review:

Because of submission, demand of journal sheets has gained a new height.
We appreciate the booming ‘Quick-bucks-making’ business of DDE – Diagram Drawing Enterprise. This has also increased prices of Glass.
Loss of pens due to coming late can cause major expenditure.

- Page 2 -

-Page 3-
Hall of Fame : Super Sawtya

Name : Vinay Sawant
Nick Name : Sawtya mali, tutya, tuniya and what not, courtesy the late and all time favourite Vipul Panchal
Address : Better meet him in Mech IV class (Room No. 105, first floor near degree toilet, FrCRIT Vashi) (If you can’t find him there means either it’s a holiday or he is ill)
Roll No. 209751 Date of Birth : The most sincere stars only once came together and that was the day when sawtya was born.
Background : Studies in Vikas High School in Marathi Medium (Unbelievable but true: Sawtya still takes notes in Marathi) He was in Somaiya College followed by one year at BATU Lonere which gave him a gut of steel. That’s how today’s Sawtya has emerged.
Achievements : Has travelled from Vashi to Vikhroli in record time : Source ‘We Mech Records’; Page 9751
Hobbies : Whaaaat?
Favourite food: Anything to everything in 209701’s tiffin to 209566’s tiffin (plus all the visiting dubbawala that come)
Talents : Can find place for himself in the most crowded train.
Aim in life : To attend 209751 lectures (at least!)
For a new comer, how to spot Sawtya:
• Ask him for journal sheets and he will say - he has got only one pen.
• Most dynamic person during the break
• He asks a doubt which not only the teacher but even the suthor of that book won’t understand
• Simple trick – refer to the photu attached!

-Page 4-

Idiot Box

Do you switch on the TV after reaching home? Do you do night shifts to complete your journals / assignments watching star movies? Do you watch MCM without understanding a word? If yes, then you got to read this.
All you despos watch out for VIP, starring nightfall girl Pamela Anderson, starting 20th Feb on AXN (Baywatch days are over!) Also watch out for Silk stalking on AXN at 11.30 p.m. (fool, p.m. means night time) for everything except silk and clothes.
Fundoo movies: The net, Jumanji, Desperado on Axn, My boyfriend is back, French Connection, Executive command on Star Movies
Comedy serials: Aahat (Sony), Who, X-zone (Zee)
And extreme machines, diving deep and medical detectives on Discovery for the men having nerves of steel..

Jafar v/s Mattoo

dil pe mat le yaar...

In a surprising event, Jafar lost his control and banged his saturated head on Mattoo’s hollow one. The heat of ‘Printouts’ was high in the comp lab and Matoo found Jafar to be the most suitable person to trouble. Jafar warned him against the mischief, but Mattoo responded by kicking his First Production Point. High amplitude signals went to Jafar’s head thus causing short circuit which blew off Jafar’s fuse and the event followed.
Passer by (Deshmukh), Traffic Police (Kota), Ambulance (Thiru) and Fire brigade (Rollin) immediately reached the spot to resolve (!) the matter.
Things are okay now, but this was a bad accident (esp for Jafar) – well, one can’t blame him for losing his temper…all that one can say is Dil pe mat le yaar..
But bear in mind everybody, do not play with Jafar (or his chota bhai) nahi to dil pe nahi, kahi aur hi lena pdega!
Here we would like to remind the readers that this article and personal references are only for entertainment. Trouble caused is purely (un)intentional.

-Page 5-

Most Wanted!

The list of most regular, sincere and obedient students of Mech IV was released here on Wednesday February 17th by Respected Professor Kota Reddy.
In a (su)press(ed) conference he said to our correspondent that those student are required to call their parents to meet Prof. Thirumaleshwar and him at a lavish function to be arranged on the third floor.

The lucky few:
Deepak Gawali Pankaj Gholap Nikhil Mendhi
Sachin Joshi Hemant Padale Amit Mainde
Saurish Nandi Kunal Mattoo Deepak Shukla
Ashwin Abraham Rohan Patkar Patel Sameer Razak

-Page 6-

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Mech'O'Times

Agnels is one 'hell' of an institute – very strict and equally confining. If it had it’s way, it would have been making robots – it does that to 90% of the batch. But the stories are written by remaining 10% who refuse to stay in the confines. Those who venture beyond. Those who listen to their heart. Those who try to bring in change and end up changing themselves for the better during the process.

After 6 rounds of Prof-parent meetings, 20 pens and countless journal sheets being sacrificed as punishment for coming late, numerous sheets, submissions and dhamkis, Sachin saw that the class didn’t have a voice of its own. Profs would use divide and rule and politics was plenty. He decided to shout. Medium was print. He observed similar unrest in some of his classmates – and two of them responded to the inner call. One was Deepak, the gifted writer and other was Rahul, the art guy. First issue was out in 4 days – from content to copies. They made just 3 copies of this A2 sized tabloid and the cost incurred was 24 bucks.

No one in the class knew about the launch – the work was done in the library, Chembur Xerox lane and Vashi station platform (after getting thrown out of library post 1900 hrs) First issue was 6 sides strong, second was 12 and third was 18 sides.

It got them name n fame – but most importantly, it got them their spirit!

Jai Mech'O'Times!

For the Low IQ people, by the low IQ people!

(c) दीपक, सचिन और राहुल - Mechanical Cousins Pvt. Ltd.